关于男人和女人的斗争

男人和女人的关系真是哲学,仿佛光明与黑暗永无止境的纠缠。哥在开心网上转帖里看到的这个帖子,挺有意思,而且中英结合,还能学习英语呢,真是一举两得啊~~!

Ladies, Read Only The First Part – Men, The Rest
严重提示:女人,只读第一部分;男人,读完!
Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
一天,女人外出打高尔夫球。她把球打进了树林,就进去找,结果发现了一只困在陷阱里的青蛙。青蛙对她说,“如果你把我从这个陷阱里放出去,我就满足你三个愿望。”
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”
女人施放了青蛙。青蛙说,“谢谢你,但是我忘了跟你说了,你的愿望有一个条件。那就是,无论你的愿望是什么,你的老公将会以十倍的程度来实现它。”
The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.” The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”
女人说,“那好吧。”对于第一个愿望,她想成为世界上最美丽的女人。青蛙警告她,“你一定要明白,这个愿望能够使你的老公成为这个世界上最英俊的男人,一个女人将会趋之若鹜的美男子。”女人回答道,“成。因为我将成为最美丽的女人,所以他的目光只会被我所吸引。”
So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!
于是,咔嚓-她是世界上最美丽的女人了!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”
对于她的第二个愿望,她想成为这个世界上最为富有的女人。青蛙说,“那将使你的老公成为这个世界上最富有的男人。而且,他将比你富有十倍。”女人说,“成。因为因为我的就是他的,他的就是我的。”
So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!
于是,咔嚓-她是世界上最富有的女人了!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”
然后青蛙询问她的第三个愿望,她说,“我想得轻微的心脏病。”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.
这个故事的寓意:女人是聪明的。别惹她们。
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
女性读者请注意:对于你们来说,这个笑话就到此结束了。停在这儿,继续感觉良好吧。
Male readers, continue reading….
男性读者们,继续读……






The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
这个男人得了比他老婆轻微十倍的心脏病。
Moral of the story: Women think they’re so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
这个故事的寓意:女人总是认为她们非常精明。让她们继续那样认为吧,让她们享受其中。
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!
另,如果你是一个女人,而且还在读这些文字;那就只表明一点,女人从来就不听劝

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4 Comments

  1. 有一位男士坐在一台最先進的豪華噴射客機上。突然肚子劇痛,想要拉肚子,但所有的男士專用廁所都客滿。他實在憋不住了,於是跟 空中 小姐拜託,讓他用一下女生廁所。空中小姐有點為難,但還是答應讓他去上,還很擔心一再交待他不要碰任何東西,拉完肚子就趕快出來。於是他一陣慌亂進去女廁。當他拉完後,神智一陣輕鬆…突然發現馬桶旁有三個按鈕,分別寫著HW、HA、 ATR.他很好奇,想想這麼先進的廁所一定有什麼特別之處,但又想起 空中 小姐的叮嚀… 不過,還是很好奇,於是他按了第 1個寫著HW鈕…咦!竟然從後面噴出清潔屁屁的熱水。好棒!原來是HotWater之意。他心想,真高級!!連忙看第 2個鈕,寫著HA 應該就是Hot Air囉!果然按下鈕後,送來徐徐熱風。
    真有意思!!那第 3個寫著! ATR到底是什麼意思?於是他按下第三鈕…
    突然一陣劇痛傳來!!
    男子連慘叫的時間都沒有,就眼前一片黑暗,暈了過去…
    當他醒來時已在醫院,護士小姐面色凝重的看著他說:先生,你醒了!!這是你的LP,我把它放在你的枕頭旁,希望你節哀」
    哇哇!我的xx!!…!!怎會這樣?先生,空姐說你誤觸了ATR.鈕,那是…Automatic Tampon Remover !!!=(衛生棉條自動拔除器 )!Tampon止血棉球;止血栓;(婦女)月經棉塞Remover 搬運工
    整組都「拆下來了」?!
    @@@@@@ 不知道的事……不要去好奇嘗試 @@@@@@

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